Dealing with Adversity: Two Questions That Change Everything

Let’s talk about adversity, not as an abstract idea, but as a very real, very human experience. We all face it. Sometimes it creeps in quietly, and other times it crashes through the front door. A job or client loss. An injury. A betrayal. A big decision with no obvious right answer.

In those moments, it’s easy to spiral. To overthink, shut down, lash out, or freeze. But that’s where the power of two simple questions can reframe everything:

1. What’s in my control?

2. What’s my next best decision in integrity?

These two questions are the foundation of resilience, clarity, and growth. They cut through the noise in your head that cloud your thinking and shift you from reactive to proactive. And most importantly, they keep you grounded in your values.

What’s in My Control?

It’s easy to waste energy trying to fix or predict what we can’t. What other people think. What already happened. The economy. The outcome of a risk. But if you can get honest about what you can control - your effort, your attitude, your preparation, your integrity - you go from feeling powerless to powerful.

I’m not saying to pretend everything’s fine. I’m suggesting that we choose to respond rather than react. Focus beats flailing, every time.

What’s My Next Best Decision in Integrity?

Notice: this isn’t “what’s the perfect decision?” or “what will impress people?” It’s about the next best step, grounded in who you are and what matters to you.

When you make decisions rooted in your values, you create alignment (my word for 2025). And alignment builds confidence, trust, and peace, even in chaos.

Adversity will come. That’s not optional. But how you meet it is entirely up to you.

The Bottom Line

So next time you find yourself in the storm, take a breath. Ask:

✅ What’s in my control?

✅ What’s my next best decision in integrity?

Then act accordingly. That’s how you thrive, not just when things are easy, but when it truly counts.

Helping you Thrive,

Judy

Founder, Selby Strategies

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