Living in the Gain, Not the Gap: The Power of Gratitude to Move You Forward
Living in the Gain, Not the Gap:
The Power of Gratitude to Move You Forward
Have you ever felt frustrated because you’re not “there” yet? Maybe you’re working toward a big goal, but all you can see is the distance between where you are now and where you want to be. That feeling—focusing on the gap—can make even your greatest efforts feel inadequate. It’s demoralizing, unproductive, and keeps you stuck.
But there’s another way: living in the gain. When you live in the gain, you shift your focus to progress, gratitude, and the steps you’re taking to move forward. It’s about appreciating where you’ve been, where you are, and the fact that you’re capable of getting where you want to go.
Here’s how to make that shift.
What Does It Mean to Live in the Gap?
When you live in the gap, you’re constantly measuring yourself against an ideal that you haven’t yet reached. For example:
You’ve made strides in your career, but all you can see is how far you are from your ultimate goal.
You’ve built strong habits, but you’re frustrated because you’re not “perfect” yet.
You’ve achieved wins, but instead of celebrating, you’re fixated on what’s still missing.
Living in the gap makes you feel like you’re falling short—no matter how much progress you’ve actually made. It’s an exhausting cycle that robs you of motivation and joy.
What Does It Mean to Live in the Gain?
When you live in the gain, you focus on progress, gratitude, and growth. Instead of obsessing over how far you have to go, you look at how far you’ve already come.
It’s about shifting your perspective:
Instead of “I’m not where I want to be,” you say, “Look how far I’ve come.”
Instead of focusing on shortcomings, you focus on strengths and the actions you’re taking to improve.
Instead of feeling frustrated, you feel grateful—grateful for the lessons you’ve learned, the progress you’ve made, and the ability to keep moving forward.
This shift in mindset creates momentum. When you focus on the gain, you feel motivated, energized, and optimistic about what’s ahead.
How to Shift from the Gap to the Gain
Focus on Gratitude
Gratitude is the antidote to the gap. When you feel yourself getting frustrated about where you are, pause and ask:
What progress have I already made?
What challenges have I overcome to get here?
What am I grateful for right now?
For example, if you’re working toward a career goal, instead of focusing on how far you still have to go, reflect on the steps you’ve already taken, the skills you’ve developed, and the people who’ve supported you along the way. Gratitude reminds you that you’re capable of progress because you’ve already made it.
Measure Backward, Not Forward
Instead of measuring yourself against your ideal future (the gap), measure against your past self. Look at where you started and compare it to where you are now. Even small steps forward count as progress.
For example:
If you’ve started exercising, don’t fixate on how far you are from your fitness goals. Instead, recognize that you’re showing up consistently, building strength, and feeling better than when you started.
If you’re building a business, don’t focus on the clients you don’t have yet. Look at the relationships you’ve built, the work you’ve done, and the growth you’ve achieved so far.
When you measure backward, you’ll see progress instead of lack.
Celebrate Wins—Big and Small
Living in the gain means celebrating every step forward, no matter how small. Did you take action today? Did you make progress on a goal? Did you learn something new? That’s a win. Acknowledging your efforts helps you stay positive and motivated.
Trust the Process
Living in the gain doesn’t mean ignoring your goals. It means staying focused on the process and trusting that consistent effort will get you there.
Focus on what you can do today to move forward.
Recognize that progress takes time—and that’s okay.
Be grateful for the ability to grow, improve, and keep working toward what you want.
The Bottom Line
When you live in the gap, you’re always chasing something just out of reach. It’s a recipe for frustration and burnout. But when you live in the gain, you focus on progress, gratitude, and the steps you’re taking to move forward.
So, take a moment today to reflect on how far you’ve come. Celebrate the wins, big and small.
Be grateful for the lessons, the growth, and the ability to keep moving toward your goals.
Because when you live in the gain, you realize that every step forward is success in itself.
Helping you Thrive,
Judy
Founder, Selby Strategies
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